Friday, December 28, 2007

Sharing Loss

Gasoline prices are rising because of the death of one woman in Pakistan. How happy the terrorists who planned her death must be. Her passing should remind us how fragile the lives around us are.

I think about her children and their loss of their mother. My mother died three years ago, so I can empathize with them. I believe we need to make all such deaths personal and grieve for those that mourn.

The fear that Pakistan will become a failed state fills our television screen. Pakistan has the atomic bomb therefore we are in danger if that nation falls into anarchy. I am sure that is true, but I look at the Pakistani people on the screen, torn by grief, roused by anger, or stunned by fear. We need to remember that their pain should also be ours and pray for peace and safety for all.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Least of Those Among Us

This is the day after Christmas and time to contemplate the passing year. I fear for our country. As a nation, I fear we have lost our heart. Why should people suffer because they are too poor to pay for health insurance? Yet, as a nation we have turned our backs on such pain. We let insurance companies make life and death decisions based on profit and loss. There is no compassion or nurture.

Christ asked us: "Who is your brother?" We have answered: no one who costs us money. Our second television is more important than a child's smile whose pain has been relieved. We are so afraid of being cheated that we turn away all. Is it time to ask why in a nation of conspicuous consumption, why so many struggle to survive?

We are a self-centered nation. Our goal is wealth. Our God has become the golden idol of gratification. We pay those who defend our nation, but not enough. We would rather have the money go to private mercenaries with exorbitant fees because this is free enterprise, not government. Our corporations look only at the bottom line, not the worker at the bottom.

We must remember that we are our brother's keeper, and we are judged by how well we treat the least of those among us.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Christmas Thoughts

I enjoy Christmas, even though, I am alone. Friday, I took my aunt to her autistic son's Christmas party. He lives in a group home with two other disabled men. The company that runs his home, runs several others. All the residents of the homes get together with their families for this Christmas party. Too many have no family.

My cousin was overjoyed when he saw his mother, just as she was glad to hug her son. We ate, then Santa came and passed out simple gifts to each resident. The room was filled with kindness and love. My aunt sat with one man who has lost his parents, so he would not feel so alone.

I will see my cousin and my aunt again Christmas Eve. I will take them to my church for its Christmas Eve service, then out to eat at Luby's, a cafeteria. I will help my cousin select his food because he cannot talk, but he does know what he wants. We did this last year, and he still remembers that it snowed inside the church when we sang "Winter Wonderland." Although he cannot talk, he can read and carries a card on which he spells out words.

My cousin is lucky in many ways. His cousins will see he is never alone at Christmas even when
his mother is gone. Many are not so fortunate.

I urge anyone that is alone and healthy this Christmas to look for opportunities to help the disabled and elderly. The gift of your time is priceless to them.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

God's Name

Recently, a Baptist church refused the use of a recreational facility by an interdenominational group because Muslims would be praying there. Evidently, this church believed that prayers addressed to a God they believed was a different diety are forbidden in the Bible and would somehow contaminate their faith. Maybe they are right about the biblical prohibition. I do not know and I do not care.

If you believe there is only one God and no others, then no matter how you address him, since there is only one God you must be talking to her. Do we really think God cares what human word we use to call to him? I doubt that is so.

Understand that I believe Jesus Christ is the truest manifestation of God and the reason I am a Christian. But I believe that there is truth in all faiths that seek a higher meaning for our existence. God loves human beings. We need to love God back.

I think that for some unfathomable reason, God likes us to babble to him. No matter what our faith, prayer links us to the Creator. I do not think any sincere prayer can contaminate another's faith. Again, I believe there is one God with many names.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

New Research in Stem Cells

In the last few weeks, there have been two research achievements in stem cell research. Just to make my position clear: I am a born-again Christian who supports embryonic stem cell research. One achievement has been virtually ignored by the media, the other hyped beyond all common sense.

The achievement ignored was the successful creation of embryonic stem cells by somatic cell nuclear transfer in primates. Skin tissue taken from an adult monkey was implanted in an egg and stimulated to divide and form stem cells. This is the first step to the ability to grow replacement tissues of all kinds for humans that would not have rejection problems. This is the great hope for cures. I think just as important would be the potential to study the disease process of particular concern. We could gain insight into the beginnings of disease that could lead to prevention, so no cure is necessary. That a path to saving millions from suffering has been hardly mentioned.

The achievement hyped was the successful creation of pluripotent cells without the use of an egg. Some columnists and many conservative religious representatives have hailed this breakthrough as the death knell of all embryonic stem cell research. Supporters of embryonic stem cell research cannot allow these voices to stop or cripple vital research. There are many problems with the new method including a high incidence of cancer. This research represents another door opening to the possibility of a cure for a myriad of humanities ills. We cannot allow it to close another door.

We do not know which pathway ( perhaps even both) will lead to the ultimate: replacement cells for the worn-out or malfunctioning parts of the human body. We must fight to see that monies already earmarked for embryonic stem cell research are not diverted to the new pluripotent cell research. Both areas are only threshholds now. Where the research will lead in either case is unknown. Both must be supported by those of us who believe that a day without disease suffering will dawn. Science moves by fits and starts. Discoveries are made by accident and design. Which of these achievements will be the more productive is simply unknown at this point. Therefore both must be pursued.

As I stated earlier, I am a born-again Christian. I do not believe that a clump of cells created in a petri dish has a soul. I understand that many Christians would disagree. For them the union of sperm and egg creates a soul. So I respect their beliefs and their right to express those beliefs. I do not want anyone driven from the public square by the fact that they are religious and that their beliefs are based on faith, not science. The separation of church and state applies to the government, not the people. As citizens, we have the right to make our opinions known and an equal right to dispute the opinions of others. If we choose to associate with others of like mind and speak as a group, that is our right. We cannot allow either side of this great debate to be muzzled.

I, of course, believe my opinion on stem cells is correct and will prevail. Our institutions often are the last to acknowledge change. We must help them see stem cells in all forms as a gift from our Creator that we must use, not abuse.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Parkinson's Disease Revisited: This is a Downer.

I just finished reading an article on Parkinson's Disease(PD) entitled "Beating a Dead Horse." The author's focus was on the untreatable symptoms of PD. His premise is that the focus on dopamine replacement in PD and its success has obsured the true nature of PD as a progressive brain disease that begins in the brain stem.

If he is correct, and I believe he may be, then a cure for PD is much more complicated than replacement of the dopamine generating cells in the brain. His theory puts PD in the same category as Alzheimer's and other progressive brain diseases. His theory also explains the intractable symptoms of PD that develop after many years.

So a reality check. A break through in stem cell research will alleviate some of the symtoms of the disease, but will not stop its progression. What we need is an understanding of the cause and how the disease progresses. We are a long way from a cure. More research is imperative. Our government needs to focus on health not war.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Praise Music Again

This past Sunday worship service left me in tears. I was subjected to an hour of praise music or as I prefer to call it "narcissistic drivel". There was very little difference in the music itself, certainly nothing memorable. While the choir and the soloists gave powerful performances, nothing could counter the lyrics that focused on "I" or "me" praising God and how wonderful "I" was for praising God. Let's get this straight. I believe we should praise God, but leave ourselves out of it. Remember the doxology. "Praise God from whom all blessings flow..." There is no "I"or "me".

While I realize this music is a fad that will pass, I feel insulted that my church cares so little about my generation. If anyone did care, they would throw the old dogs a bone and have a traditional hymn or two. No, the focus is youth, youth, youth. Strange, I don't remember Jesus saying that people over forty were worthless. Discrimination in any form is wrong in God's church. Just because it is aimed at older adults, does not make it right. The church should be inclusive. Sunday morning worship services should not exclude, but strive to bring God's followers together. We need to know each other to love each other. I think it is time for a new Christian movement: across all ages, we are one with Christ.

Friday, November 9, 2007

What the Doctor Does Not Tell You About Parkinson's Disease

My mother had Parkinson's Disease (PD) for the last sixteen years of her life. During that time I tried to learn as much as I could about the disease. I am still active in the local support group.

If you or a loved one has had PD for any length of time, you already know the following, but if you are new to PD, this may help.

EXERCISE! EXERCISE! EXERCISE!

We've known that exercise was just as important as medication in the treatment of PD. Now, we know the earlier a Parkinsonian starts a program of regular exercise, the better the Parkinsonian does. Get your neurologist to prescribe physical therapy and demand that the therapist provide you with an exercise program you can do at home.

Go to a neurologist that sees lots of Parkinsonians. You may love your family physician or your internist, but PD is a complex disease, you must have a neurologist.

Watch out for constipation! The biggest muscle system you have is your digestive system. It slows down with PD. Blockages can kill. Tell your neurologist if you have constipation, then follow the doctor's advice. Mother started out with prune juice and Metamucil and ended taking Metamucil and Miralax daily. Eat a high fiber diet, if you can.

Watch out for respiratory infections. Parkinsonians take shallow breaths. As the disease progresses, any cold can turn into something life-threatening. See your family physician or internist when you catch a cold. Respiratory infections kill Parkinsonians.

A word for caregivers: a symptom of PD is a failure to initiate. This means Parkinsonians have a hard time beginning any task including exercise. You may have to help them get started.

Watch out for depression. Most Parkinsonians will experience depression that needs to be treated with medication. Tell your neurologist if you are feeling down.

For more information join a support group. Both the Parkinsonian and the caregiver need the help support groups provide.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

The Middle Road

Where has the middle road gone? I watch TV and listen to radio and see and hear extremes. The news channels are not sources of news, but unending docu-talk drivel. When our nation has so many problems, why is there fifteen minutes of Britney Spears coverage every hour?

I notice the lack of the middle view most when it comes to religion. The commentators interview the religious right and atheists, leaving the impression that the choice is ignorance of science or intolerance of belief. Why doesn't a commentator interview someone with my beliefs: a deep faith in God and an equally secure knowledge of science. I believe God created a universe with a set of rules that we (made in his image) can understand. The role of science is to discover the how of existence, the role of religion is to discover the why. There is no conflict.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Free Speech

I have grown tired of talk shows yammering that we have "free speech" in the United States, so anyone can speak whatever drivel they want and suffer no consequences. The Constitution protects people from government constraint on speech. No government in the United States can stop me from speaking or writing what I choose. Other entities are free to try to constrain any speech that they find objectionable by any legal means.

This means that television networks can decide who can have air time; they can fire anyone that voices comments that the network heirarchy deems objectionable. I wish they would do more of this. Networks seem to think that they should not censure anyone and that there are two sides to any argument, each of equal value. Performers eccho these sentiments.

I believe as a society that we should object to some things that are said, that there should be economic consequences for making comments that the majority finds objectionable. This applies to religion in particular. Christians need to demand economic sanctions for attacks on the faith. Christians seem to think that Christ wants us to tolerate attacks on our faith. Christ stood up for what he believed, we can do no less. I do think he wants our response to be made in love, not hate. How do we do that?

One simple way is to respond to a celebrity's attack on Christianity with a clear statement of our beliefs. We need to be very aware that many who attack Christianity do so by creating a caricature of the faith or what they want to believe is Christianity. Some who believe they are Christians perpetuate these caricatures. We must object to such false prophets.

We need to stop pandering to celebrities that attack faith and demand unbelief. Do not watch or attend their performances. Boycotts are a legitimate protest vehicle. I fail at this, often viewing or listening to performers making outrageous statements about my faith because I want to learn their arguments. I think a better course is simply to turn them off.

Finally, I think we need to find ways to express Christian love for those that trash our faith. One way I would like to try is to give to the charity that these trashers support, to make my donation with the designation made in Christian love and say nothing more.

We must remember that we are free to speak and free to suffer the consequences. Only the government is barred from stopping our speech.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Climate Changes

Today is a warm October day. Al Gore's crusade on global warming has netted him a well-deserved Nobel Peace Prize. I do believe that Gore is correct: our world is growing warmer. Most people seem to think that this means that our every day temperatures will be uniformly warmer. Climate change is more complicated than that. The best generalization is that we will see more weather extremes, so some locations may actually experience colder temperatures while others will broil.

Here in Texas, I think there has been a subtle seasonal shift. The weather that we used to experience earlier in the year comes later. Hence, a cooler, wetter summer-- spring shifted a couple of months. Now, we are in a warm, dry spell--summer drought in the fall. Oh, the pattern isn't perfect, but I do think the generalization works. What we used to expect in November--cold, wet skies--has shifted to late December. If I am right, Christmas will have miserable weather. I just wonder if anyone else has noticed.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Progress on the Dragon Book

I am still working on the dragon book. I have about two hundred hand-written pages so far. Lucas and Mattie (the kids) and Greenmist (the dragon kid) landed in Mongolia by accident and now are making their way back to Texas with the help of Greenmist's greatgrandmother, Auburntide, and her pet gryphon, Rupert. Oh, they have been joined by Auburntide's friend, Blackday. They will make it as far as San Francisco before meeting the villain of the series, the Orc, a dingy white dragon.

I wish I could write full time. The only time I am truly happy is when I am writing. I have had one mystery published, but it was not very successful. After that I tried to find an agent. Did find one bad one. That made me feel so terrible that I quit writing for several years. I suppose I will self-publish someday. I have a science fiction novel, two mysteries, and a screenplay completed. If I don't self-publish,the manuscripts will be thrown away by my heirs.

I hope to turn my cat blog into a book someday. I used to send out a Christmas letter every year with an illustrated cat story. Since I still have a house full of cats, I expect to have plenty of stories to come.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Missy, the Pink and Black Dog

Yesterday, a conversation jogged my memory about my dog, Missy, and the night I received my bachelor's degree. Missy was a black and white, border collie mix. She was a great dog, loyal, protective and extremely fast.

I was on top of the world the night I received by Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. I had managed financially only because I continued to live at home. My whole family celebrated with me.

By midnight, I was exhausted and had gone to bed. At one, I heard Missy barking wildly in the back yard, then her bark changed to ear piercing yelps. We lived just a few blocks north of the university in the middle of the city. I had no idea what had happened to her as I stumbled to the back door. I called her and she came at a hard run. When she was within a few feet I knew what was wrong. Missy had been skunked!

This was not the first time Missy had been sprayed. She was so fast we assumed that she would be up to the skunk before she realized her mistake. At our cabin near Lake Marble Falls, we kept a huge can of tomato juice to pour over her to neutralize the odor. We had never expected her to encounter a skunk in the middle of the city. We had no tomato juice.

When Missy reached me, I grabbed her and picked her up. The smell up close was stomach turning, but I knew that I had to keep her off the furniture.

"Take her to the tub," my grandmother ordered. I obeyed.

I stepped into the tub with Missy. This tub was an old, claw-footed one with high sides so it was no easy task to get in it with a squirming, stinking dog. I turned on the water and contemplated what to wash Missy with. My grandmother solved the problem.

"This is the best I could do," she said as she handed me two open cans of tomato soup.

I used both cans on Missy, and the odor did abate. I then washed her with soap and rinsed her thoroughly. As I dried her, I noticed that her white fur was distinctly pink. Tomato juice had never done that. I picked up one of the soup cans. Sure enough, tomato soup contained a red dye. I looked at Missy; evidently the red dye was very good at coloring dog fur.

With Missy in my grandmother's care, I took a bath. As I sat in the warm water, I contemplated my graduation night and God's sense of humor. I would never forget that night and its highs and lows.

The next morning it was clear that our black and white dog was now pink and black. Missy would take several weeks to lose the color. I am sure people wondered about the strange women that dyed their dog.

Missy did not care. I think she enjoyed the extra attention she received from visitors. Lucky for me, she never found another skunk in the city.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Thrift Store Shopping

Today, I shopped at one of my favorite stores, not a department store, not a boutique, but a thrift store. This one is run by a Lutheran charity. I purchased a silk blouse, two cotton blouses, a pair of slacks, and earrings for around thirteen dollars. (There was a half-off sale on women's blouses.) The two cotton blouses are for my aunt, the rest for me. Lack of money and lack of clothes first drove me to thrift or used clothing stores. Soon, though, I discovered I enjoyed shopping in these stores more than regular shopping venues. I have purchased everything from shoes to underwear. One tip, if you see shoes that you like and are your size, buy them. Shoes seem to be the hardest item to find routinely.

I have five or six stores I visit regularly. Some don't have much selection, but stock a better quality or have cheaper than average prices. Others have a huge selection, but the quality and age of the clothing can be a problem. I have learned to put together looks I see in magazines or even department stores by careful shopping at several stores.

Now, I find it difficult to shop regular stores. Why pay fifty dollars for a blouse, when I can buy something similar for five? I even shop for gifts at thrift stores. To do this and get something appropriate means shopping well ahead of time and doing a lot of looking, but I have always succeeded.

Where once I used to dread shopping, I find adventure.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Presidential Candidates Yuck!

I am not enamored with any of the presidential candidates. Many of the Republics ( as long as I hear Democrat Party, I will refer to the opposition as the Republic Party) just plain scare me. I know Brownback would criminalize everything connected to embryonic stem cell research including being cured with any fruits of this research. Others would keep us in the Iraq war. Some profess not to believe in evolution. Guliani has a mixed record as mayor and a dismal record as a husband and father. I think that moral values do matter, although I do understand we are all human and fall short. We cannot demand perfection in our candidates.

The Democratic candidates are not much better. Obama sounds great, but he really lacks experience, just as our current President did. You see where inexperience got us. I still hold Clinton's health care fiasco against her. I think it was handled badly and not fought for. Then, there is her husband. He wasted his Presidency for personal gratification. How will he influence her? Edwards is probably my choice at the moment, but I don't think he can win. I think he has made some silly mistakes and not handled issues related to his money well. I suppose I favor him because of his health care proposal.

I think the real problem is the fact that both parties are influenced by special interests and big money, none of whom care what happens to the lower middle class and poor. This is a natural result because the lower socio-economic groups do not vote. In the past, unions could muster votes from the working class, but with the decline of unions, there is no motivating force. There is almost no difference between the parties. Business interests always trump consumer interests. This will continue until every day life is so bad for most people that they vote for a third party candidate. I think this will happen, first at local level, then at the national level, unless one of the parties wakes up and decides to represent the people.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Kitten Season

Kitten season is upon us. Until last week, I could say that all my cats were neutered or spayed. Now, I have a wild new kitten (male), a sweet female who must have an owner somewhere, and a female cat with three kittens. The first two simply appeared on my front porch at different times, the latter is my aunt's cat who was very pregnant when I retrieved her from my aunt's farm. I hope to find homes for all the kittens and the sweet female; my aunt's cat will return to her once the kitten's are raised and the cat spayed.

A friend of mine had a four week old kitten stow away in her wheel well. She had to have a mechanic remove the wheel to get at the kitten. Lucky for her, she found someone willing to adopt the kitten. She also discovered the source of the kitten, a mama cat with five more babies in the compound where she works. She and some co-workers are in the process of trapping the whole family. The cat and kittens will be fostered and found homes.

I have been checking veternarians in my area for the cost of spaying. Most charge exorbitant fees. I know they have to make a living, but I believe that having spay fees as a loss leader would help the community and help them bring in more business. I wonder how much veterinarians really love animals if they do not help control the population. I choose my vet on the cost of spaying a cat and a rabies shot. That way I know they really care.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Evolution

I watched the View the other day. There was a discussion of evolution that deteriorated into a flat earth discussion. Very strange. I believe in the theory of evolution even though I am a born again Christian. I do not believe the two are mutually exclusive. I realize there are proponents of evolution who believe that it eliminates God. I would argue that God can choose his mechanism of creation even if it is random. I believe that God is not in time and therefore past, present and future are all one for the Creator. Many Christians would argue against evolution because they believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible. I would say you cannot limit God by the language of an ancient text that began as oral history. God chose evolution as his creative mechanism, perhaps so we could better understand the universe around us.

That evolution can be argued about still says two things: (1) the paucity of scientific knowledge in the population of the US and (2) the strength of the evangelical movement in the US. I find it sad that most people do not understand the fundamentals of science or the wonder of scientific discovery. I do not know how to change that, but I think that teaching science to the general populace will be the challenge of the century. I fear the rise of the evangelical movement because of the intolerance I find in the movement. When you believe that you know all the answers when it comes to God, you are in danger of ignoring the uncertainties of reality. Uncertainties that I believe were put in our existence deliberately by God. We must always be humble when we observe this creation whether we are evolutionist, believer, or both.

Monday, September 17, 2007

The Draft

Last week we should have been inundated by stories on the Iraq war, but instead O. J. Simpson and a lost British child seemed to take center stage. There are too many echoes of Viet Nam for me to feel any sense of rightness about the war. We should never have gone to war in Iraq, but we cannot leave precipitously now.

I believe we should reinstate the draft and take both men and women. Why? Because as long as the majority of Americans have no personal stake in the Iraq war, the political will for change will not be intense enough to make Congress act. Only if your flesh and blood is at risk is the war personal. Women are no less able to serve than men. There are real physical differences that have to be acknowledged, but any job a woman is physically able to handle should be open.

A draft would allow creation of a larger military and perhaps a chance to keep Afghanistan from sliding back into the hands of the Taliban. We were right to invade Afghanistan, we were wrong to turn our attention to Iraq. We had the opportunity to make a change that could have protected generations from jihad instead President Bush has made sure that Western civilization will face a threat for this entire century. How we ultimately face that threat will determine our fate.


A draft would engage all in the choices to be made and the risks to be taken. I believe the draft provides socio-economic diversity that is not there now. All strata of society should be faced with the potential loss of loved ones.

I believe that we will be attacked here in our homeland because an open society is just too vulnerable. When that happens I am sure all levels of society will be affected. I also believe we must target our opponents narrowly. Al Queda and organizations like it deserve our full attention and the larger military a draft would provide.


I have no personal fear of an attack. Some lack of fear results from the knowledge that where I live is an unlikely target. I have a far greater reason not to fear. As a Christian, I believe in existence beyond the grave. Death is just a threshold we must all cross. I fear suffering, but even that must end. This life is but a shadow of that to come. For me, that is enough.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Kathy Griffin and the American Heart Association

I have been following the Kathy Griffin controversy in the media and online. I am offended by her lack of respect for the sincere beliefs of others. Her statement has done what I think she wanted, garner publicity and media attention, but she has helped many Christians focus on the defense of their faith. I also believe that such publicity on television pulls Christianity off the shelf and into the media spotlight. That is the positive effect.

There is a negative effect. The outrage and vitriol of many people who call themselves Christians scares me. Jesus does not need us to protect Him. He certainly does not need his followers to hate another human being or wish them ill.

What Jesus needs Christians to do is portray the faith as he would--with love for Kathy Griffin. Jesus told us even the pagans love their family and friends (I would broaden that to anyone who thinks as they do), His followers were to love their enemies. I don't believe Kathy Griffin is the enemy, only an imperfect person trying to succeed in a hostile environment. Who better to love?

On Kathy Griffin's website she designates the American Heart Association as the charity she would like to receive donations in memory of her father, John Griffin. I suggest that Christians make a donation to the American Heart Association in John Griffin's memory and simply say made in the love of Christ.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Workplace Penalties for Ill Health

I caught the end of a television news story that indicated that employers are now free to discriminate against people with hypertension, weight problems and other ailments. The United States must be working on an award for heartlessness. Oh, I know. These people deserve to be punished because they brought these ailments on themselves. I think people who have never had a weight or health issue believe that. I believe that our genetics determine a great deal. I am lactose intolerant. I think I owe that malady to my native American ancestors. I also have some other ailments traceable to that ancestry. I neither smoke nor drink, but I now have a host of maladies. I used to exercise regularly, but my childhood bone disease has come back to haunt me, so I have stopped much exercise. I am overweight, so that must be my sin. Where will we stop in assessing blame for health problems? If you are born with congenital disabilities, should your parents pay? Better yet, let's test for abnormalities and require abortion, if found. We could do genetic testing, so only babies guaranteed to be perfect can live, that will reduce health insurance cost.

Our knowledge and our ethics are too imperfect for such drastic measures. I would argue the same for the punitive policies in the workplace. Too little is known of cause and effect. We cannot allow employers to winnow their employees as statistics based on science that is still imperfect. We need to treat every person as an asset, treat them as God would have us treat them, not a result in a cost benefit analysis.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

The Caregiving Toll

I listened to Fred Thompson last night on Jay Leno. I was totally unimpressed. Actually, I am unimpressed with all the candidates, both Republican and Democratic. I need to find out the specifics of Edwards' health insurance plan. I do believe this country needs to do something about health insurance. My only hope is to hang on to sixty-five and Medicare, but it looks more and more that I won't make it. There are no rewards for taking care of others except financial ruin and ill health.

I have seen the toll caregiving takes on the caregiver in the Parkinson's support group. This country takes care of its sick by wrecking the lives of their loved ones. Texas is particularly adept at making families without significant wealth shoulder the burden because either there are no facilities or the facilities available are abhorrent.

Understand that I do not regret caring for my family members, only that I could not care for them and for myself, too. Given the same circumstances, I would do the same thing, even knowing the disastrous (for me) results.

I did learn that people with money do not wish to share it, that you are scum if you ask for monetary assistance from family or friends. The result of caring for others is that I have never been so alone. If I ever have money myself, I will be only to glad to share. I know how much a few bucks can mean.

Churches never ask how the caregiver is doing nor do they provide support. I learned that as a child when my mother was ill. Churches want no financial obligations to their members. Where does that put Christian love?

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Tracfone Woes

I am frustrated with Tracfone. I have used Tracfone for a number of years because I rarely need my cell phone, but I do want one for emergencies. At the moment, I need to add more minutes because a relative now has my cell phone number and calls me on it instead of my land line. She really burns minutes. Yes, I have explained the cost to her, but it makes no impression.

The Tracfone website is not working for me. I do not receive a full web page and cannot buy airtime as I have in the past. I don't know if it is a problem with my computer or Tracfone, but I don't have problems at other sites.

In addition, my cellphone reception in my home is almost nonexistent. I must be in my back bedroom to make or receive calls adequately. I am seriously considering using another carrier. At least, I would be able to get a new phone.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Helping Someone's Mother

Yesterday after Sunday School, I took care of someone else's mother, and I deeply resented it. I suppose I should have looked at it as an opportunity to demonstrate Christian love, but I did not. Mind you, I did not mind helping Lily(not her real name). She had no control over the actions of her daughter who left her in our Sunday School class with no instructions to anyone as to what Lily was to do after class.

All Lily could say was, "A man is supposed to come," and "I can't walk much."

Of course, no man appeared. I could not leave Lily alone in an empty classroom. (There is no class after ours.) I recruited two young men from the singles class to walk with her, and they helped her to another classroom with people who knew her. There was no sign of her daughter or the mysterious man.

With her settled, I headed for my car. I had already walked too much. I am having trouble with my hip and in pain with each step. As I reached the parking lot, one of the carts that is used to transport people from the Quad(where classes are held) to the sanctuary stopped. The young man driving, I'll call him Stan, asked if I had seen an elderly lady needing a ride. I asked if he meant Lily. Yes, came the answer. Her daughter was in the sanctuary and had sent Stan for her.

I told Stan where she was, but he seemed uncertain, so I rode in the cart as close as we could get. Stan retrieved Lily from the class. She then stated that she needed to use the bathroom. Stan asked me for help. We rode to the restroom, and I went in with Lily. As she entered the stall, it was obvious she needed help. I had taken care of my mother for many years, so I knew what to do. I got her seated, flushed the toilet in the next stall when she had trouble starting to urinate (the sound of running water usually will help a bashful bladder), helped her up ( she did wipe herself), then pulled up her panties and pants, zipped her pants and pulled down her blouse. Lily thanked me repeatedly, and I reassured her I was glad to help.

Strangely, I was glad to help her, but I was seething that her daughter was absent.

With Stan's help, I got her back in the cart, then rode with her in the cart to my car. Stan assured me he could get her into the sanctuary and seated, but probably not with her daughter who usually sat in a lower tier of seats that were inaccessible to Lily. With some concern about her alone in the sanctuary, I left. I knew physically I had reached my limit.

By the time I reached home my hip hurt so badly, I wondered if I would make it inside my house. I did and went to bed.

I am totally mystified. Why would a daughter bring her mother to church, then leave her unattended? By the way, her daughter teaches a class and leads the women's program devotionals. Perhaps, she trusts God to take care of her mother. If so, she has more faith than I ever did. Perhaps...

So, now I must struggle with my faith and my anger. "God, let me understand."

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Dragon History

A little on dragon history, back story for my book. Dragons developed at the end of the last great age of dinosaurs from a bipedal omnivore. Their numbers grew rapidly, but dragons fought war after war and huge numbers died. One of the most pernicious practices was the killing of all relatives of an enemy. Great dragon cities were founded, then fought each other. No prisoners were ever taken. This carnage continued until about three thousand years ago when a great plague reduced the dragon population, and a female dragon came to power with the goal of ending the dragon wars. Through her lifetime and those of her daughter and granddaughter there was peace. New cities, the Dragonhomes, were founded away from humans. The Dragon Laws were promulgated. The peace did not last and fighting continued sporadically until another female dragon came to power about a thousand years ago. She was born white which is a rare color among dragons, and she possessed great powers. Now the Dragonworld waits for another white dragon to come to power. While few dragons are born white, a dragon loses color when it eats a human. If a dragon eats enough people, the dragon becomes white. Will the next ruler be a people eater?

Thursday, August 30, 2007

The United States Post Office and Harry Potter 7

Several months ago I ordered the last Harry Potter book from an internet company I had used many times. Delivery was promised on July 21st. Because I am disabled, I assumed that I would be saved the pain of shopping for the book. Wrong! The United States Post Office did not leave the book at my home. Instead I received a notice telling me I could pick it up next week. I had looked forward to reading that book that evening, so I went out, limped through the store, and purchased it. I have to say that with each pain I felt, I said something very uncomplimentary about the post office. Now, the post office notice ( I received two) said the package would be returned to sender if I did not pick it up. That was a lie! Yesterday, August 29th, the book was left at my home. Circled in red was the instruction: CARRIER-LEAVE IF NO RESPONSE. Too bad the first carrier could not read. I will donate the extra copy to a nursing home. I have notified the internet company that I will never order a book from them that must be delivered on a date certain because of this. Money was never the issue, only the saving of painful steps. I have a cousin that works for the Post Office, so I understand the difficulties of the job. I do not understand incompetence.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

A Prayer for Today

Maker and sustainer of all,
May Your name in all tongues be exalted,
Let us know Your presence in our lives,
Let us act in our everyday lives as You would.
Give us what we need to survive.
Teach us mercy,
So that we can have mercy on others.
Let us understand our weaknesses.
Save us from ourselves
For you are infinite and merciful.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Health Care

I would like to make a doctor's appointment to see why I feel so rotten, but I can't because I don't have the money. I have health insurance through a high risk pool. I pay $650/month with a $2500 deductible. There is the problem. I am no where near meeting my deductible, so must pay out-of-pocket. I'm broke, no credit because I ruined that taking care of my mother with Parkinson's disease. I'll wait, either I'll begin to feel better or get sicker. I sometimes think that our health care system has been developed to weed out the sick and the poor so that we are not a drain on society. In other words, if care is bad enough or unavailable, we die, end of problem. Medicare is being attacked because too many of the elderly live now. Where are the Christian voices urging help for the sick, care for the elderly, compassion for the disabled? I remember what Christ said, when you care for the lest of these, you care for Me. We would rather hide in our gated communities and ignore reality and our faith. I believe we need a single payer sytem of health care. I don't think that will happen because too much money is made on suffering.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Stumbling as we follow Christ's footsteps

I just finished a study of some of the judges in the Old Testamant. What do we make of all the cruelty and death in the name of God? I believe that God tried to make his people understand, but they were trapped by their time and culture. I do not believe that God wanted all those victims. Are we trapped by our time and culture? Perhaps, but we have Jesus to show us the way. We fail to follow his teaching, but somehow manage to lurch a little toward his example. I think that is the best we can hope for: To stumble along the path already trod by Christ. I believe that God doesn't demand perfection, only that out of our love of God we try.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Church

What makes a church? I am no longer attending worship services, but I don't miss them. Corporate worship has never been particularly fulfilling for me, so this is not a major problem. I do need to participate occasionally to remind myself that when we come together in worship we honor an obligation to God. No, for me, my Sunday School class has become my church, the place where I find Christ. We are all over 40 years in age adults, all facing challenges in every day life. I can best sum up our physical attributes by saying an appropriate name for our class would be "The Decrepit." That is not what draws me to this class. What makes me go each Sunday is the honesty and faith I find there. From the ethicist who has doubts about the existence of Christ to the fundamentalist who believes that the Bible was dictated by God, we all find common ground trying to understand Christ and our world. Oh, we argue, think the others are completely wrong, and tell each other so. Nevertheless, there is a concern and love for each other I find no other place. Truly this group is my church.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Universal Life Insurance

I am appalled by the life insurance industry. I have an elderly acquaintance who purchased universal life insurance with the understanding that this policy would accumulate value that she could tap into in later years. The first page of the policy shows a guaranteed value of $30,000 after 20 years. Well, its been 20 years and when she asked what she could take out, she was told $2000. The premiums continue to increase, so soon she will not be able to afford the policy and will lose all she put into it. She cannot afford to fight the insurance company. I am sure the company will simply blame the agent. The company will have taken over $50,000 dollars from her. A very neat deal. A success for misrepresentation.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Media Reflects Our Shallowness

I tried to find some news on cable TV earlier today. What I found were court proceedings, one for a murderer and one for someone suspected of assault. Our nation is at war, our economy teetering, our health care system a farce and what we see on television is sensationalism. The subject matter may have a lurid fascination, but it is not national news. The coverage of sensational crime causes Americans to feel less safe, to think that there is more crime and more danger in every day life than there is. I would submit that more people die because of the failures of our health care system than from violent crime. Our elderly are abandoned to substandard care because we refuse to pay higher taxes, but that's not fun to report. You never see a report on the quality of life in a nursing home. Do we fear that if we improve nursing home care, more people will dump their elderly relatives? In my city, if you cannot drive, then your time is considered expendable. If you are disabled and have no one to drive you to doctors appointments, then you can expect to spend hours on a bus and wait hours for one after your appointment. The media does not cover this because the viewer is not interested in the reality of the old, the disabled or the poor. Those of us that call ourselves Christian need to demand we know what happens to the least among us.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

A Branded Generation

Our President spoke of the Viet Nam war, urging that mistakes not be repeated. I remember that time: the friends that never came home, those that did forever changed. That war branded my generation. I remember watching demonstrators storm toward the Chemistry Building where they had been told military research was underway. I knew the truth: there was no such research in that building. My research was there, the study of the structure of certain small molecules important only to other chemists. So I stood in a locked lab and hoped that the mob went elsewhere. It did. Later, I would learn that some of my fellow chemistry graduate students were protestors. I did not understand. How did destroying the work of others help end a war? I do know we did so many things wrong. I had friends that served gallantly, but were not treated as patriots. I had friends who marched against the war. I always seemed to be in the middle. I was not a Christian then, perhaps if I had been, my perspective would have been different. I do not know. These days, I pray for those who fight, and I pray for those that suffer or die. No matter what their name for God.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Parkinson's Disease from a Caregiver's Perspective

I did not intend to blog about Parkinson's disease (PD) , but I know that a former caregiver's viewpoint can be helpful. My mother had PD for sixteen years and I was her primary caregiver. She developed a tremor in her right hand that led to the diagnosis, but a year before that she had an impaction in her colon that was treated by a colon, rectal specialist. I believe that was her first symptom of PD because PD affects the involuntary muscles, the ones that move without us thinking about it. Involuntary muscles run the digestive system and are greatly affected by PD. The muscles slow and a PD sufferer becomes constipated. As the disease progresses such slowdowns can be life threatening. In the first years of my mother's disease, we fought constipation with prune juice and Metamucil and a high fiber diet. Eventually, my mother progressed to Miralax and Metamucil every morning. Every person with PD and their caregiver must be aware of the dangers of constipation and take an active role in combating it.

As I said, we ate a high fiber diet. One of the things that meant was no white bread. We always had a hearty dark bread to eat. The consequence was that when my mother and I went somewhere to eat barbecue (in Texas its always served with white bread) she was like a kid in a candy store. She would eat her bread and mine. I often wondered what people who did not know our situation thought of this little old lady so happy to have white bread.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Christian Strawmen

As I watch television, I am struck by how little of Christ's message is ever mentioned. I am sure that is true for the other monotheistic faiths although I am not attuned to listen for misstatements about them. Most commentary deals with the fringes of faith. Rarely, is there a serious discussion of the tenets of the faith or the impact of that faith on every day life. Many commentators such as Bill Maher get great mileage out of stating what Christians believe in terms that most Christians would not recognize, so that they can gleefully attack these strawmen. Talk show hosts invite only those with the most radical views on their program. Often these guests are simply there to be a foil for the host to present his/her views of religion and demonstrate how sensible the host is. How to combat these shallow presentations is something for Christians to discover. Somehow, Christians must present the reality of faith in every day life.

What is my reality? I pray every day. Usually about the same problem in my life, which to date still remains unchanged. In my better moments, I pray for others, but I am not a proponent of intercessory prayer. I know that prayers are not always answered as we want, but that does not stop me from praying. I believe that one of the great truths that is seldom acknowledged is that God likes to hear from us, to hear our chatter, that God is pleased by our focus on Him.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Dragons in Mongolia

I know the arc of the story in my first dragon book now. I just have to finish writing it. I managed to send my characters to Mongolia. Now I am bringing them home, but there is that evil dragon that is out to get Greenmist, the little dragon. They have to make it home without revealing where home is. I figure the book is about half written. First drafts are always the toughest. Dragons really like high, dry places, hence the Gobi Desert. I can see a series of dragon books ending with my little dragon growing up to be the savior of dragonkind and perhaps humans as well.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Gideon

Today, my Sunday School class discussed the story of Gideon found in Judges. What do we make of bloodshed depicted in God's name, in the Old Testament? Some of my class thought that there was no relationship with these Old Testament stories and the New Testament. Personally, I believe this book was written by fallible people who thought they saw God in action in these terrible events. I'd like to hear God's side of the story. I think it would be far different.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Parkinson's Disease Support Group

This is the third Saturday of the month, so there is a Parkinson's disease (PD) support group meeting. I do not have PD, but I am in charge of programs this year and must attend. I think I may have reached my limit as to PD, but I will finish out this year. I was a caregiver for 16 years. PD is bad, the whole family suffers. This support group kept us going for all those years. I give talks on PD around the city and meet too many people in the beginning stages. I wonder how they feel after I finish my talk. Do I take away hope?

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Bridges of Caldwell County

The bridge collapse in Minnesota brought back a scary bridge memory of my own. When I was about seventeen, I took both my grandmothers to visit my materal grandmother's aunt who was a just a little older than she. My great aunt lived in a rural area in Caldwell County. Once together, the three (all in their seventies) decided they wanted to visit one of the family cemeteries. I, of course, was simply the chauffer, so had no say in the matter. My great aunt gave directions and soon I drove down a grassy road that showed very little sign of use. Aunt Florence was unperturbed when I suggested that a paved county road might be a better choice.

"This is a short cut. Just the locals know about it, " she said.

"Keep going," chimed in the grandmothers.

I drove about five miles when a bridge over a creek loomed ahead. I stopped. This bridge looked on its last legs. It had a badly rusted superstructure and a wooden road bed. That road bed was no longer completely covered. Planks made two parallel strips about two feet wide each that stretched across four by four cross beams. The bridge did not look safe and I told my passengers that. They were unphased and told me to drive on. I seriously considered disobeying, but I was young, my grandmothers experienced so on I drove.

The minute my front wheels touched the bridge, I felt it shudder. If I had been a passenger, I would have closed my eyes, but I was the driver. The bridge actually swayed as I inched forward. My heart pounded and I concentrated on tracking the two rows of planks. Both grandmothers urged me to go faster. I did speed up, but only by a couple of miles per hour. At last, I drove onto the grass on the other side, grass that looked undisturbed by any vehicle.
Relieved, I looked into the rear view mirror. There was a sign. I stopped the car and looked back.

In bright red, block letters was the word "CONDEMNED." My stomach jumped. I pointed to the sign and told my passengers, "We could have been killed."

"Well, nothin' happened," said one.

"If you're so nervous, we can go back the long way," said another.

The matter settled we proceeded to the cemetery, then back to my great aunt's home.

I have never felt the same about bridges since. I always look back for the condemned sign.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Funeral Denied, Love Denied

I read with great sadness that a church had denied a family the use of the church building because the deceased was a gay man. I personally believe that Christ wept at this action. I understand that the pastor and his church members sincerely believe that allowing this funeral would have damaged their message to the community that homosexuality is a sin. I believe that even with their belief about homosexuality, the church should have allowed the service to show that as Christians their message was love for all, even someone they thought was a sinner. In my opinion, the church was wrong, not only in its belief about homosexuality, but also in its actions. I know that I cannot change such beliefs; I know that it is not my job. My duty is to try my best to behave as Christ would want me to behave and state clearly my beliefs. Christ told us to love God and love one another, that summed up the Old Testament (the Law and the Prophets), that is enough for me. Today, I will pray for the deceased's loved ones and for the church that denied their expression of love.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Dragon Laws

First Law of Dragonkind
A dragon shall not murder a dragon.

Second Law of Dragonkind
A dragon shall not eat a human being.

Third Law of Dragonkind
A dragon shall not show itself to a human being unless that human being is clan or dragonkin.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Praise Music

Sometimes, I think that praise music (narcissitic drivel) is an outgrowth of the "dumbing down" of American religion. American evangelism has a strong anti-intellectual bias. Some of this anti-intellectualism is driven by the fear caused by what is perceived as the assault by science on what is found in the Bible; some by the very real antipathy of those that consider themselves intellectally elite; some by those that would create an enemy in science and in particular evolution, so that their followers have a common enemy against which to stand. I believe that the combination of anti-intellectualism and a desire "to feel" their connection to God has given rise to praise music and the new worship services. Churches are substituting emotion for thought. At this moment, all I can do is continue to pray and not attend.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Dragons in the Attic

I thought I would share a little of my dragon book today. Lucas is 10 years old, but a year behind in school because he had meningitis. Lucas lives in Texas. Mattie is his best friend; she is 9. Lucas can see dragons because he had meningitis. A new dragon moves into his attic - a young dragon named Greenmist. Lucas and Greenmist become friends. Greenmist is only two years old, but about as mature as Lucas. Dragons come of age at 10. Greenmist's father was murdered by evil dragons. She and her mother fled to Texas. Adult dragons cannot fly, only juveniles like Greenmist can use their wings to fly.

I attend a multi-denominational church that has recently changed its 11 am service to one designed for a "younger" audience. The 11 am service was the one I attended, now I don't attend a church service only Sunday School (a discussion group). I did try the new service several times. I heard too much repetition in the music and too much narcissitic drivel, otherwise known as praise music. My question: why have my likes become of no importance in a church that I helped start and which I have attended for thirty years? Why court youth at the expense of those over thirty? Add a service for younger members at 1:00pm, use video replay for the pastor's sermon. Oh, well, I'll just keep praying.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Dragons, etc.

I decided that I wanted a daily blog. Dragons are in the title because I have started writing a children's fantasy where dragons (invisible to most) live among us. I don't know if I will share any of the fantasy online or not. Today, I need to write so I can forget how miserable I am. Don't worry, no sob story.

I have discovered that one can survive without air conditioning if you have fans, even if the temperature is in the nineties. My cats do turn into not too flat rugs, but that's not all bad, they stay out of trouble.

My thought for today: you might win Megamillions tonight. Or more conventionally, there is always hope. You can be broke, sick and about to lose your home, but if your luck changes, you can be rich; if rich be able to go to the doctor and pay off your mortgage. I believe that, however unlikely it seems, God can change your world. (Doesn't mean He will.)